Thoughts of Nothing

The End Of Time

2009-06-15T22:02:00.000-07:00

Slowly, oh slowly we move.

Forward? No.

Intellect moves backward.

Slipping into nothing.

We whisper to distract

from the sound of screaming souls

as the minds degenerate

and the intelligence gathered by

our past

diminishes.

We touch to stave off

the coming feeling of loneliness

that is inevitable.

Time moves forward

but we move back.

How long will it have to take

before humanity is forever gone?

One millennium is but a second

gone too quickly for us to fix.

The past is impossible

the present still hard.

The only way to make a difference

is to look to the future

and move forward

one step at a time.

2009-06-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Eyes drip with the sand of time
and moments become memories
as lives end
and others begin.

Do we have no control
over this sort of magic?
Our lives keep moving
and we change.

The grains move over us
pouring from the heavens
molding our bodies
our minds.

To step out from under
is unheard of
taking courage we only have once
before lives are over.

To leave the sand storm of life
is impossible
only achieved after
death.

Make the most of our moments.
Don't forget what you know.
Don't remember what's not true.
Believe.
And then live.

Grad oh nine?

Holy shit.

Moonshine

2009-05-28T18:29:00.000-07:00

And so the sun sets

leaving Cold and Dark

to meet Lonesome again.

Old friends, they greet

as if they've been apart forever.

But I know just as well as them

that they are together more often than not.

They embrace, Dark and Lonesome.

Cold sits at the edges

blowing frigid air towards them

reminding them of who they are.

Its enough to make my toes curl

and cause the hair on my arms to raise

as they do when I am frightened.

It's not something easily forgotten

the way your body wants to react

when something frightful occurs.

They turn their attention back to me

their own relations forgotten.

They touch my skin and blow back my hair

causing shivers to fun down my spine.

I sit with my knees pulled up to my chest

and my eyes closed tightly

as if to block out the fear

but that only makes Dark stronger.

And when I tell myself that it will all be over soon

Lonesome revels in my voice

for I am one.

I have no choice but to suffer.

I cannot make it better

without first making it worse.

And when I become numb to the pain

Cold begins to laugh

the laugh itself freezing my heart.

And with one final touch

it shatters

the pieces bouncing on the ground

like broken glass

or forgotten pearls

the crimson glowing in the absence of light

reflecting the moon back at itself.

And they leave

sulking away with one more conquest

wishing for better prey.

Someone who's stronger

who will be a challenge.

Someone who has more will to fight

instead of trembling with fright.

Scrambeled Eggs

2009-05-11T23:13:00.001-07:00

Lifeless children

their futures stolen before they began.

Cracked

beaten

whipped.

Burnt.

Soundless screams cry against the pain.

Not the pain of death

but the pain of losing life.

Eaten and enjoyed.

(I'm weird)

Encounters With Gods

2009-05-09T23:22:00.000-07:00

Take pity on me, oh Noble Soul

your golden staff shines bright

contrasting with the coldness of your eyes.

Hopeful daisies spring up in hard soil

weeks ahead of time.

Hope crushes them

they will not survive.

And with his steely eyes he glares down at me

stripping my of my protections.

Notebooks. Clothes. Skin.

My body dissolved

white light, dimmer than his golden staff.

Dimmer than the daisies.

Hope looks at what I have asked and laughs

a cruel sharp laugh, breaking the air

following me as I scramble away

unable to squeeze tears out of eyes that do not exist

I smooth down my skirt

and walk stiffly away.

Passing a patch of hopeless daisies

resentment fills my mind

but instead of leaving them to cruel gods

I gather water

sprinkle it on the dry soil.

Greedily they soak it up

becoming lush and soft

they begin to glow from the inside.

I realize what I have done.

Hopeless becomes Hopeful

and I am only one.

Wide Open

2009-05-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

In order to have an open heart

it must be broken open.

A treasure chest, hiding it's glory

cannot ever be added to

but one with a broken lock

one with an open lid

will be forever taken from.

And some will give back.

I'm Not Myself

2009-05-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

I remember how I used to be

braver

confident

weirder

less afraid

less timid

less plain.

Brighter.

More of a person.

I miss how I used to be

I want to be myself again.

But that would mean letting go

of thing's so ingrained

they're almost a part of me.

Is it possible to be myself

again?

Fantasy

2009-05-07T22:21:00.001-07:00

And I leave to dream of a place where your face is not sought out

but rather everywhere I look

easily in reach.

I go to dream of a place that does not exist.

Looking forward to a day that lives in my mind

pretending that it it tomorrow.

Will you ever guess.

Will you ever know that, yes, it is you I am thinking about.

Will I ever get the chance to tell you.

My soul hurts to think of a world want of you

and so my mind tricks me

and for a few hours I lie in peace.

Your face haunting my thoughts.

Promises You Don't Intend To Keep

2009-05-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

Your eyes meet mine

windows to the soul painted shut.

A hand moves up my arm

my heart just as exposed.

Promise me.

Your mouth opens but mine is quicker

I'm yours

but promise me

promise to makes promises you don't intend to keep

promises you'll never keep

because false hope is better than no hope at all.

And I'm so much worse than hopeless.

Retaliation

2009-05-07T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hard as I try my heart keeps beating.

I hold my breath until I see black

I bleed my fingers and bite my cheek.

To keep my soul and lose myself

is an art I cannot master.

As hard as I try

my heart keeps beating.

Broken pieces struggling to work

beating in unison as my vision fades

and the metallic taste of blood fills my mouth

as red war paint drips down my wrists.

my heart keeps beating

as hard as I try.

Winter's Frost

2009-05-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Oh, spectacular boy:

When summer ends so will we

the warm glow of the summer sun

will fade to the tired autumn.

Cold hands will cease to be held

and, in turn, forget to hold.

Letters lost.

Hopes broken.

Bruised hearts second place to damaged egos

the blossoms of love rot to contempt

every glance of malice a victory in itself.

Anger hiding hurt and confusion.

You loved me.

Changed to hate, changed to repression.

You act as if we never were we

and as if I am just another face in the crowd.

And I wonder.

Is it my fault?

Puzzles

2009-05-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

We are born broken.

Halves only to ourselves

waiting to be put back together.

I'm missing a piece of me.

Always watching, waiting.

Where are you?

Flames

2009-05-07T20:59:00.000-07:00

How can I think of blood when in my veins

fire flows freely.

Embers glow in your eyes

you must feel it too.

The warmth builds up inside us

the static too much to bear.

My mouth tastes of copper

biting hard down on my lip.

Memories of salt tears fall down

stinging the surface of my skin.

Is it tomorrow yet?

For today is too much to handle.

So much unsaid

the fire cremating our hearts.

Sparks fly as faces grow red

a smile could release the heat

but neither wants to cool down

preferring to burn than to live one second

without this searing heat.

Hope

2009-05-07T20:58:00.000-07:00

And forward spilleth the broken seeds of beauty

over time become whole

broke with the heart.

And lilies bloom alongside empty paths

their destinations long forgotten

while the kings of dreams find other homes.

And with the greatest ease he doth pick them up

planting many along a road to annihilation

one in a heart.

And when the plaster cast breaks wrinkles and tears stain faces

scars for eternity.

And when the light shines

or the rain falls

it brings forth acid seeping into places secret from ourselves.

Forever changed, holes with burning edges

scars on our souls, we move on.

Introduction

2009-05-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

I have been slightly depressive recently, and have only just found my escape.

Poetry.

They will be weird, they will be bad, and they won't make sense.

But I can't keep them locked up in my notebook forever.

So, let's give a loud round of applause for... poetry!